Emily Richardson, Sean Meldrum, Alexandra Clementi, Luke Witt, Heidi Michelle Thomas in The Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical | Photo courtesy of Paquin Entertainment
This holiday season has seen several holiday parody musicals running at the same time. It’s not a novel concept and there are bound to be extensive similarities, with each likely to offer its own unique comedic identity. The one I saw is The Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical, presented by Paquin Exhibitions & Theatrical at the Royal Theatre, and I enjoyed it far more than I expected. I figured it would have its moments, of course, but was not prepared for the consistently clever writing and persuasive, committed performances.
This is, obviously, spoofing the tropes of a Hallmark holiday movie. Though I’ve never actually seen one all the way through, I’ve caught enough parodies and reaction videos to recognize what’s on the affectionate skewer here. Writers Bonnie Milligan, Joel Waggoner and Tim Drucker (who also directed) know that self-awareness in and of itself doesn’t make for good comedy. Their script never contents itself with riding the wave of its concept; the creators have made an effort to be distinct and specific—about the formula they’re lampooning, yes, but also genuinely funny on the show’s own terms.
Holly (Alexandra Clementi) is a successful business woman working at Big Bank in Big City. In the middle of a Big Merger, she’s compelled to go home to Small Town to help her workaholic mom, Merry (Emily Richardson), manage everything from the general store to a petting zoo. She meets tall, attractive, single (but stupid) town sheriff Mark (Sean Meldrum), and must decide between Love and Career. Worked into the goofy plot is a cookie-baking competition rivalry between Merry and the villain of the piece, Cookie (Heidi Michelle Thomas), a nasty piece of work with her put-upon gay henchmen, Codie (Luke Witt, who hilariously plays a whole slew of colourful supporting characters with some impressive quick changes).
Clementi pulls off the smart yet vulnerable cliché with endearing panache, admirably filling in her lady boss outfit. Muldrum is pretty adorable too, his dumb persona suitably reinforced, but never over-played. Richardson is amusingly amped up as Holly’s over-eager mom. The detail about her constantly having heart attacks that she absolutely will not allow to disrupt her momentum is very funny. Witt is a riot throughout, in all his roles, though I found the visual spectacle of his manic juggling of two stretched-out landline phones as Holly’s intrepid assistant especially dynamic.
My favourite here is Thomas. Her Cookie is a campy amalgam of Patti LuPone’s Evita, a middle-aged Mean Girl and the Grinch. She’s a flamboyant, truly outrageous caricature of made-for-tv villainy. Swings Levi Stepp and Alyssa Lyn are buoyant, adaptable and help fill scenes out compelling.
The sketch-comedy aesthetic here—a projection screen backdrop framed by an archway and flanked by two doors—is flat and pretty cheesy. The projections provide generic environments for each scene, but this hokey set-up is really just an ambient frame for the material and delivery, both of which more than sell the story and the self-awareness. It feels genuinely Christmas-y too, a vibe highlighted in the final song: “It feels like Christmas, because it’s literally Christmas.”
The musical numbers, in a variety of styles, are well-written and catchy. The standout for me is the tongue-twisting patter song “The Moose is Loose,” which features a moose named Bruce who is loose and comes off like a blend of Dr. Seuss and Sondheim.
Ultimately satisfying is the way the story eventually defies the tropes it has set up. In an inspired, and suitably earned, burst of self-actualization, Holly breaks free from the formula in a genuinely satisfying resolution. At 80 minutes, give or take, this silly yet well-crafted confection never loses momentum or overstays its welcome. Though not especially original, it’s a well-oiled machine and a solid good time.
The Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical
November 20, 2025 to January 4, 2026
The Royal Theatre
(608 College Street)
75 minutes (no intermission)
Sean Meldrum & Alexandra Clementi (left) Heidi Michelle Thomas & Luke Witt (right) in The Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical | Photos courtesy of Paquin Entertainment